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Purging Phase 7: The Do-Over. Reshape & Rewrite.

Now you’re ready to make some real solid choices about who you were, versus who you now want to be. It’s time to begin letting you’re creativity open up even further now. Part of its blooming process comes with a new sense of empathy you’ve perhaps misplaced, faith you’ve lost (or felt abandoned by) and self-forgiveness you my have denied yourself (and as a result, others too).

This new life can be anything you decide…as long as YOU and only you make the re-choose.

Reinvention is about taking stock of what you clearly know didn’t work before, and leaving it in the past – often, along with the people who may have convinced you to stay where you were far too long.

It’s true. Misery absolutely craves company. Fear needs as many minds as possible to spread and permeate to the point of victimization, in order to gain enough power to render life immobile.

Fear triggers the idea of potential scarcity. Then we imagine the worst. When we fear the loss of personal power it’s a sure sign that it’s already been misplaced for a very long time.

But rather than look inward and take responsibility for it (i.e., what we choose to believe) we tend to search for someone else, other humans, to blame. That of course eventually escalates into greater intolerance, and then ultimately hate.

We as a country are experiencing this divisive polarization right now. It’s how we are. We get full of ourselves then we run amok over and over again. This time it’s no more epic and global than before. But if you are not a student of history (or freakishly obsessed with the human journey as a species like I am) it’s terrifying.

For anyone who buys into the idea that we actually have to choose between accumulated “wealth” (which many of us will never see anyway) human kindness (simply because it has not been bestowed upon us in a very long time) our anxiety and stress levels can only skyrocket.

Even knowing full well that wealth, in this day and age, won’t bring us peace, the idea of “F**K YOU” money still seems like a safer and more ego-satisfying way to get even…certainly less risky than simply having the courage to quietly step away and chart a new lifestyle choice for ourselves. One based on (corny as it my sound) love, compassion, simple beauty and generosity towards those we actually DO want to aid or spend time with.

While it may seem so counter intuitive to uproot now in the middle of an ideological storm, it’s actually (even historically) the best time ever, timing-wise.

While all that crazy non-productive lunacy swirls, and nothing much else will get accomplished anyway, it’s the ideal time to explore options, with far more freedom and now under the normal social radar screen. This of course is why so many people, just like you, might be rethinking their lives right now too.

If there was ever more proof that our personal happiness is now solely up to us as individuals, this is it. Ironically, it’s always been that way. It’s just that our human instinct to find our “tribe” and be apart of something “shared” is so strong that we inadvertently settle for inclusion at any cost.

But what if new personal decisions were made not based on social standing, but simply our own hearts? GASP! What if we took real honest stock and asked ourselves, “Seriously, with what I know now, what do I still know to be true? What do I really believe NOW?”

That simple phrase has saved my life more often than I can count. Partly because I’ve probably had a more expansive life than most people that I personally know, but mostly because when I achieved something, I always took a step back, asking myself if, in the end, it was actually worth it? Every year that passed brought more truthful answers.

Every year that followed the final answer was usually more ‘no’ than ‘yes’.

Was artistic freedom really worth the fight?

No, not if it was really still predicated on mass acceptance.

Did ambition pay off?

No, not if the real intent was simply to “win”.

Was fame worth it?

Not if nothing good was done with it. I could write a book just on this one, having been one who’d never sought it but had it inadvertently come, just as part of the package.

Was wealth the prize?

No. It didn’t make me feel any more happy or secure…and worse, it brought a breed of pariahs to my door whose values were toxic.

Was being the owner of a beautiful home with all the visual trappings worth it?

Nope. Never felt more ‘lonely’ in my life. It was like being the only guest in the hotel.

But that’s just me. For others I’m sure the answers would be different. My point being; once I dismissed social acceptance, ambition, wealth, fame, money and power, as a life motivation, it made space for a kind of simplicity and awareness that seemed far more worthy of my time. It also changed the math.

Living, eating, dressing, driving, working and entertaining myself simply, authentically, completely changed what I spent, what I bought and where I bought it.

Am I still questioning? You bet I am…but not the choices I’ve made. I mean, I’m still the same person.

I still don’t integrate with other people as well as I’d like.

I still have a hard time suffering fools and have to bite my lip ‘til it bleeds.

I’m still just a little too big for most rooms in a rural town and from time to time, I still miss not being able to talk about my past and my accomplishments and have people entertained and hanging on my every word. But at least I know that all of those things are just my stupid ego and come at a price I’m not willing to pay for again.

Yet, full disclosure, when people talk down to me out of ignorance, I still want to scream “Do you know who the hell your talking to???!!!” But of course I can’t and as a result have a deeper respect for those who have no voice at all.

So in this final and 7th layer of purging, as you get down to the nitty-gritty, think about what is really important to you NOW. Tell the truth even if it brings up memories that may make you cringe!

Explore what you have faith in now and let it embolden you forward. If it needs strengthening then put your self in a lifestyle that will do that because when we lose faith we are far more susceptible to manipulation.

Decide if public perception is worth anything to you now.

Are you willing to live with fewer conveniences as a trade off for a less complicated life?

Get as specific as you can. Like, in my simplicity, should have let my beard go white years ago. But I still dye it. Not for others but for me! Vain? Oh you bet, but the last thing I need is Noah starring back at me in the mirror. I don’t need any more evidence that the end of mortality is closer. I need everything I can to keep me in the bubble of positivity.

Is your need and investment for ‘legacy’ more an ego trip than something of true value to you today?

Even I, from time to time, have to remember that I consciously chose to give up those iconic and often-divisive social acceptance bragging rights for something far greater…peace.

You can do it!

XO, Christopher

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